MYSTERY SUBURBAN THEATER 3000 http://suburbanmark.tripod.com EPISODE 105 "Cheerleading Competition" (Part 2) Original Cardcaptor Sakura story by: Princess Angel MSTed by: "Suburban Mark" mst_mark@yahoo.com LEGAL STUFF: "Cheerleading Competition" is copyrighted to Princess Angel. It is being MSTed with her permission, which of course I thank her very much for, and hope she enjoys this MSTing, even if it is her story. "Cardcaptor Sakura" is copyrighted by and registered to CLAMP and its distributors. "Mystery Science Theater 3000" is copyrighted by and registered to Best Brains, Inc, and its distributors. "Mystery Suburban Theater" and affiliated characters are copyrighted to Mark Johnson, although they aren't worth stealing anyway. SUBURBAN HOUSE OF EVIL "So, you have the piece of fanfiction we'll be showing the test subjects, Gregory?" Dr. Kivlington asked. To Gregory, he seemed nervous, although he always seemed sort of nervous, so this wasn't that big a deal. "Yes," Gregory said. "I'm sure they'll enjoy it." "They aren't supposed to enjoy them!" Dr. K said. "I thought I had explained this to you already." "Sorry," said Gregory. "I forgot you don't really understand sarcasm." "Not a good from of humor, if you ask me." "Right. Of course." Gregory and Dr. Kivlington then suffered through an uncomfortable moment of silence. Gregory finally offered something. "So, Dr. Kivlington, shouldn't you call the teenagers?" "What? Teenagers? Oh, right, them," Dr. K said hurriedly. "Err, yeah, I suppose." "You don't really sound like you want to," Gregory noted. "You look like you want to just send them the fic without telling them." Dr. K's face showed a momentary flash of hope. "Will that work?" "I don't think it's a very good idea." "It's just that I don't want to talk to them, because, because...Oh, damn." Dr. Kivlington stopped and turned away from Gregory. "I am so ashamed. I can't believe I'm afraid to tell my captives why I've kidnapped them!" Gregory decided he needed to be, once again, supportive of the doctor despite his personality quirks. "I've already told you, they already don't like you. It's not like this will affect their thoughts about you." "I know, but still..." "Just do it, very quickly. You know, the best way to remove a bandage is to do it quickly. Just rip it off. This is just like that." "I see..." Dr. Kivlington turned back to face Gregory. "Wait, no I don't." Gregory rolled his eyes. "How is this like removing a bandage? I'm starting to wonder about you. You seem to believe that me telling the teenagers the reason why I chose them to be my subjects in the experiments is somehow related to something used to protect a wound. Honestly." "Just call them," said Gregory, not willing to try to explain the metaphor. BASEMENT OF CAPTIVITY Dio examined his figure in the floor mirror of his room. He appeared dissatisfied. "You can't see my muscles through this jumpsuit," he complained. His roommate, Trey, was not sympthathetic. "Yes, and that really sucks for the other three people who ever see you." "You never know. Maybe we get videotaped while we read those fanfics, and millions of people watch the videos?" "That's crazy. You're suggesting that people would want to watch us being forced to read fanfics and making jokes about them to survive. Who'd want to watch that?" "Lots of people! In fact, I think I remember a show that was on while I was a child that was similar to what we're doing." "Sure you do," said Trey. He noticed a blinking light near the door leading to his and Dio's room. "Hey, that thing was never there before." "But I think they did movies..." said Dio, oblivious to Trey and the light, lost in his own thought. "Come on, I think its almost time for our fanfic, maybe that's what the light is about." Trey nudged Dio in the direction of the basement's living room, where they met with their fellow subjects, Leile and Paige. "There were definitely robots," Dio said, still in another world. The blinking light had indeed meant that Dr. Kivlington and Gregory were ready to present them with another fanfic. Dr. K and Gregory appeared on the giant video screen in the room. "Ah, test subjects, so good of you to come." "Yeah, yeah, we really came on our own will," said Paige. "You did?" Dr. K said. "I thought it was because I forced you to." "Err," said Gregory. "Oh, right, right, no sarcasm around the demented doc," Paige muttered. "Anyway, last time you demanded to know why I chose you, specifically, to be the subjects in my experiments," Dr. K started. "And you denied us," Leile said. "Yes, well-" "And we weren't happy about that." "I understand, but if you'd just-" Leile sighed. "I'm really sick of you." Dr. K appeared hurt. "Uh, Gregory, we'll have to do this later. Give them the fic now." The old doctor shuffled away dejectedly. "I'll just go talk with EstelleBot," he said as he disappeared from view. "Look what you did!" Gregory admonished, once the doctor had left. "Now it'll be really hard to get him to eat his dinner. He just doesn't eat when he's sad." Leile, Paige and Trey looked to one another. "We're very sorry," said Paige. "Yeah," said Leile. "Hey, I know sarcasm when I hear it," Gregory said. "That didn't sound sincere." "You get what you pay for," said Trey. Dio spoke up, after being quiet for a while. "You got the idea to do this experiment from a show on TV with robots and movies, didn't you!" he accused Gregory. Gregory paused, then ignored Dio. "Anyway, this fanfic is just the second part of 'Cheerleading Competition'. You remember, don't you? The Cardcaptor Sakura story with a myriad of characters, featuring an evil group of cheerleaders who Sakura and her friends want to defeat in a competition. And lots of other stuff. Frankly, I myself forgot. Anyway, do have fun in there with it." The video screen went blank, as Gregory cut the connection, and a big sign that said "FANFIC" flashed, along with various alarms. "We've got fanfic sign!" said Paige. "I forgot there'd be a second part to 'Cheerleading Competition'," said Trey. "Well, I suppose it could be worse." "He won't admit it, will he?" said Dio, angrily and still mostly to himself. "This experiment is just a rip-off of that show on Comedy Central, and later the Sci-Fi Channel! How can he ever hope to publish his results without getting through the patent laws?" "I could be forced to listen to Dio for the rest of my natural life," said Trey, cringing at the thought. "I mean, my God, they even had jumpsuits as well!" "Forget about that!" yelled Trey angrily. The four teens headed to the theater. [Doors: 6-5-4-3-2-1] Leile: I suppose we should do a refresher, just so we know the plot. Trey: Okay, well, Sakura and her friends are cheerleaders, and Lana and her friends, who are new characters, by the way, are cheerleaders from an opposing school. Lana is apparently evil, but luckily Sakura and her friends have met a host of new friends who instantly know all about them. Paige: Thus saving the trouble of introductions. Trey: Yes. Plus Meilin, Rika and Naoko finally have true loves. And in Rika's case this means a true love who isn't also her teacher. Dio: They fell in love very quickly. Trey: Anyway, we just left after Sakura and Syaoran professed their love in a truck, and everyone was headed their separate ways after a confrontation with Ms. Mizuki, their cheerleading coach who was using magic to force Sakura's school and Lana's school to tie in both cheerleading and soccer competitions. Oh, and Jessica, Lana's younger sister, invited herself to sleep at Sakura's house. Leile: He's being completely serious about this, too. Paige: Well, let's start this thing. >::I've been waitin' such a long time just trying to get trough >And it's takin' all of my strength to keep me here away from >you:: > >Tomoyo was walking home after what happened in the truck. >That was so kawaii! But I so wanted that to be Eriol and me.' >She thought. Leile: Like, I so wanted it. Trey: In your dreams. >::It doesn't matter just how long it takes >Nothing changes when we're apart >It's just a little bit longer we've come this far:: > >Eriol was walking home too after what happened in the truck. Dio: Maybe they just let Sakura and Syaoran have the truck. Paige: Oh, let them make-out in the thing. We'll just walk home. >'Tomoyo it's been so long since we saw each other. Trey: It's been about five minutes, hasn't it? Leile: Yeah, they just saw each other! >When will I tell you? Will you change? Dio: Don't try to change me, baby. Leile: I've got a twenty, and I hope you have a ten and two fives. >I guess a need more time...' thought Eriol. > >::One Step Closer to heaven baby >Means one step closer to you >There'll be no more living without you baby >I'm counting each minute 'till I'm back to you >One step closer to heaven baby >Hold on, hold on, hold on to my love and:: > >'I just need one step closer to you Eriol. Then I'm heaven. Trey: People will appeal to St. Peter to get into me! Leile: I can't be sure, but that sounded like something I should object to. Trey: Nah. >I won't live without you. I'm counting each minute here damn >it! Dio: She even has a watch that counts 'Minutes Away From Eriol'. Paige: They're just a high school couple! They are taking things way too seriously. >Just hold on to my love.' Thought Tomoyo as she entered her >mansion. Trey: But it's so heavy! >::I've been savin' every little bit of my love for you >I've been screamin' just to get by >It's so exciting >Meant for sighting:: > >'I have been saving all my love for you Tomoyo. Leile: It's all right here, in my piggy bank. >If you only knew...' thought Eriol as he entered his mansion >(Wow. Rich. I like I like! These two have a lot in common ) Dio: Yeah, like a mansion, and...um... Paige: They're in this story? >::It doesn't matter just how long it takes >Just in moment we'll be back together >And this time it's forever:: > >"Konnichiwa Eriol-sama!" said Nakuru as she saw him enter the >mansion. >"How was your day?" Leile: Oh, you know, I'm angsting over Tomoyo like a character in a romance novel, same old, same old. >Eriol just went past her and went to his favourite couch. >"Eriol-sama?" asked Nakuru as she followed Eriol. Trey: Quiet, you over-enthusiastic being of my creation! Leile: Ouch, you know it hurts when you say things like that. Paige: Obviously he's not in a mood to talk, Nakuru. >"Don't bother me Nakuru. Tell Spinel-Sun that too if he's about >to enter in here." Said Eriol. Dio: I don't even want to see that cat, or so help me... >Nakuru did as she was told and she closed the doors. Paige: I obey your every wish, Master Eriol. >'He's thinking about her again I better tell Sakura-chan.' >Thought Nakuru. Leile: If only he could get Sarah Michelle Gellar out of his head. Those fantasies are so unhealthy. >::One Step Closer to heaven baby >Means one step closer to you >There'll be no more living without you baby >I'm counting each minute 'till I'm back to you >One step closer to heaven baby >Hold on, hold on, hold on to my love and:: > >"Tomoyo..." said Eriol as he looked at her picture that was >under his chair for a few years. (Few years!? Make that many >years! ) Trey: Okay, I'll make it many. Paige: That's the sort of thing the Backspace key was invented for. Dio: He doesn't have a more recent photo? Leile: Ah, every time I see this photo of Tomoyo in kindergarten I get all misty-eyed... >::It doesn't matter just how long it takes >Nothing changes when we're apart >It's just a little bit longer we've come this far:: > >'Eriol...' thought Tomoyo as she looked at a picture under her >bed of him for a few years. Paige: That's a long time to stare at a photo. >( Again, it is MANY years! ) Dio: Few, many, what's the difference? >::One Step Closer to heaven baby >Means one step closer to you (One Step Closer) >There'll be no more living without you baby >I'm counting each minute 'till I'm back to you >One step closer to heaven baby >Hold on, hold on, hold on to my love and:: > >"I just have to see him/her!" said Eriol and Tomoyo as they >both ran out of their mansion. Leile: They share a mansion now? Trey: What an interesting thing to say. I didn't know you actually said, "him/her" >::One Step Closer to heaven baby >Means one step closer to you (One Step Closer) >There'll be no more living without you baby >I'm counting each minute 'till I'm back to you >One step closer to heaven baby >Hold on, hold on, hold on to my love and:: > >"Eriol!" said Tomoyo as she saw his shadow. Dio: Crap, now there will be six more weeks of winter. Paige: They found each other with ease, considering they had both left their mansions. Trey: They met halfway. >"Tomoyo!" said Eriol as he ran up to her. " I was meaning to >tell you something," said Tomoyo. Dio: Your breath stinks. >"Well I did too..." said Eriol. Leile: Sometimes I like to pretend I'm Zorro. >" Aishiteru!" they both said at the same time. "You mean you >love me Eriol-kun?" asked Tomoyo. Paige: No, he meant he hated you, but forgot the Japanese word for that. >" Hai I do." Then they both gave each other a passionate kiss. Trey: Gag me with the romance. Leile: Here's your passionate kiss. Paige: Here, I gift-wrapped yours. >:: One Step Closer to Heaven... ( I added that to make it more >dramatically romancy! ):: Dio: It just made it longer. >Eriol and Tomoyo stopped kissing to catch their breath. Trey: They were really going at it. Paige: I need a Gatorade after that exertion. >Just then a big "KAWAII!" came from a bush. Dio: George W. is watching Tomoyo and Eriol? >"A bush talk's?" said Tomoyo. Leile: But he doesn't necessarily make sense. Trey: I knew those mind-altering drugs were a bad idea. >" No it doesn't Tomoyo!" said a voice. Leile: Meiling! Paige: No, it hasn't been Meiling for a while. The voice has been anyone who enters the scene by speaking a line, which is virtually everyone who enters a scene. >"Sakura? You saw all of that?" said Tomoyo. Dio: Yes, and I'm absolutely appalled. >"You too Syaoron?" said Eriol as Syaoran appeared. Leile: Another one of those magic tricks? Trey: I was just beamed in here from the Enterprise. >"Hai." answered Syaoran. "I found your video camera in my house >and i video taped the whole scene!( Wait a minute! Your not >suppose to be Tomoyo! )" said Sakura. Paige: Sakura said that? Leile: Sounds like she's arguing with herself. Dio: I found your camera, and thought, hey, I bet Eriol and Tomoyo are going to WAFF up the place. Why not try voyeurism? >"Well i've got to go entertain Jessica!" said Sakura as she ran >to her house. Dio: Hee hee hee. Leile: Don't say a word. >"Got to go. Bye." said Syaoran as he left for his apartment. Paige: Their cover blown, the watchers in the bush make hasty exits. >"Oh well..." said Tomoyo. "I'll see you tomorrow!" said Eriol >as he and Tomoyo walked to their mansions. Leile: Reinactment time! Let's reinact the scene! Paige: I love you. Dio: I love you. Leile: I saw the whole thing! Bye. Trey: Me too. Bye. Dio: Well, we just kissed and professed our love. I'm tired. I'm going home. Bye. Paige: Bye. >~The Next Day~ Leile: The world ended. >Ring! Ring! Went Tomoyo's cellphone. Dio: Bam! Bam! Went Tomoyo's hammer on the cellphone. >Tomoyo awoke and answered it. "Moshi- Moshi!" said Tomoyo. Paige: 'Moshi-moshi' must be Japanese for 'This better be important because you just woke me up'. >" Konnichiwa Tomoyo! It's Sakura!" said Sakura on the other >line. Trey: Gee, I guess it wasn't Syaoran that said, "It's Sakura!" >" Konnichiwa Sakura-chan!" Leile: I notice Sakura didn't give Tomoyo the honorific. Dio: But Tomoyo did give it to Sakura. Paige: Intriguing. >"Tomoyo you've got to go to my house! Everyone is going to go >to the new dance club 10 blocks away from my house!" Leile: Why would she want her to come to her house, then? Trey: I want to make sure you don't go to the dance club! We think you'll ruin it for the rest of us! >"I'll be there. Bye!" > >"Bye!" Dio: Or should it be, 'sayonara'? Paige: There's plenty of Japanese in here already. >They both hanged up the phone. 'Guess i better go..' thought >Tomoyo as she got ready. Leile: I haven't reached my quota of during things with friends this month... >~At Sakura's House~ > >'Tomoyo!" said Sakura as she saw Tomoyo come out of her limo. Paige: Ooh, a limo. Leile: I use this to gloat about how much money I...er, my mom has. >"Konnichiwa!" said Tomoyo. "Syaoran is going to drive us to the >dance club." said Chiharu. Dio: Good, because no one is allowed in my limo with me. >"Let's go!" said Rika as she went into Syaoran's car. Trey: Actually, I'll drive all but Rika. Get out. Leile: Why doesn't she just use her newfound magic and fly? >~At the Dance Club~ > >::Dirty Pop Trey: Oh, God, it's N*SYNC. Dio: Or the Backstreet Boys. Trey: Same thing, though, aren't they? >Sick and tired of hearing all these people talk about >What's the deal with this pop life >And when is it gonna fade out:: > >Sakura and co. ran inside the dance club. Paige: At least, they tried, but the bouncer wouldn't let them in. >"Wow!" said Naoko. "What never been in a dance club before?" >said a voice. Leile: Meiling! >"Tammy!" gasped Jessica. Dio: What the...I didn't know Jessica came along. >"Hai it me and I've come to take you to Lana." Tammy said. Paige: She's a faithful little possessed servant, isn't she? Trey: Yes, master, I obey. I shall get your little sister for you. >"No!" shouted Jessica as she ran out the dance club. Dio: Oh, okay. What now? She said no. Leile: I really need to possess smarter people. >Sakura and co. followed her out. "What do you want from her?" >asked Yamzaki. Paige: She has my eye-liner. >" Oh just to take all her magical power!" cackled Tammy. Leile: Tammy's been focusing too much on the Wicked Witch of the West when she watches "The Wizard of Oz". Trey: I want her magical power, and her little dog, too! >"Demo why?" said Allan. " We have to take her magical power's >because she is more powerful than Lana!" shouted Tammy. Dio: And at such a young age. Paige: Oh, there's a reasonable explanation. That convinces me. >" Demo...she's powerful because she uses her magic for good!" >said Jake. Leile: She often uses it to save little kittens from trees. >"We can't let her be powerful! Lana should be the only one! >Then she can posses all of you and she can win the competition >and reign!" screamed Tammy. Paige: Lana really wants to be the leader of a good cheerleading group. Trey: Tammy needs to calm down. Leile: Tammy, don't scream. Paige: Yeah. Dio: And the award for most overused running gag goes to... >"But you can't take her!" said Naoko. "Watch me!" said Tammy. " >You baka! Do something good for once!" said a voice. Leile: Meiling? Dio: I doubt it. Trey: You always do evil! Mix it up a little! >"What?" said Sakura and co. as they saw a girl with black with >brown streaks hair and brown eyes. "Lee Ann!" said Tammy. Leile: I'll guess right with Meiling one of these times. Paige: Lee Ann Rimes is going to stop Tammy Faye Bakker! Trey: I guess this will turn into "Celebrity Death Match". >"Yes it's me." said Lee Ann. Dio: Whoever the hell I am. >"I'll see you people later. Demo i'm taking you!" said Tammy as >she grabbed Jessica. Paige: You're touching my special place! Leile: I was just touching your shoulder! >"No!" said Jessica as she tried to pull away. " Good bye >losers!" said Tammy as she disappered with Jessica. Trey: Don't everyone get in each other's way to try and save Jessica, now. Paige: Most of them haven't even said a word during this entire scene. Dio: Or moved. >" Who're you?" asked Syaoran. "I'm Lee Ann Tolentino. I'm >english i know all of you. Trey: I'm English, you gits. Dio: She knows all of them? Did she stalk them with Jessica or by herself? Leile: Uh, while you idiots are introducing yourselves, Tammy is slowly dragging Jessica away. >Jessica and I are 14." said Lee Ann. Paige: Yeah. Reeeeal good time to start comparing ages. >"Gosh! That's why both of you are so small!" said Chiharu. Trey: Gee, thanks. Leile: What, did Chiharu think a couple of 14-year-olds were her age? Does she get out much? >"Yeah i guess. By the way i need somewhere to sleep. I have too >because i just moved here and my mom and brother are going to >be out." said Lee Ann. Dio: The hell? Where are everyone's parents? Paige: I guess there was a big important parents' convention or something. >"You can sleep at my house!" offered Sakura. Dio: The previous tenant just got kidnapped, so it opened a spot up for you! How fortunate! Leile: Sakura's turning her house into a youth hostel. Trey: See, Sakura's nice enough to let complete strangers who act like long-time friends into her house. What a gal. >"Right on! Well i'll see you all tomorrow!"said Lee Ann as she >went off with Sakura. Dio: Sakura, I'm shocked. Don't you think Lee Ann is a bit young for you? >~At Sakura's House~ > >Lee Ann and Sakura were chatting until the phone rang. Paige: Phones always interrupt important conversations. >"Now Kinomoto listen and listen good." said a voice on the >other line. Leile: Meiling? Paige: Well, hello to you too. >"What do you want Lana?" asked Sakura. Leile: Damn! Trey: No, I don't want Lana. >"If you want Jessica back you have to win the competition. Dio: Umm, shouldn't she try to use Jessica to coerce them into trying to lose? Paige: Maybe she's trying to put a lot of pressure on them so they crack. >If i win i get the boys and suck Jessica's magic." said Lana >then she hanged up. Trey: Sounds fair. Wait... Dio: Hee hee, suck Jessica's magic. I wonder what 'magic' really is? Hee hee. Leile: Geez... >Sakura dialed Tomoyo's number. "Moshi-Moshi." said Tomoyo. Paige: Tomoyo seems in high spirits despite Jessica's kidnapping. Dio: No skin off my back. >'Tomoyo tell everyone to meet me at the Sakura tree..." Leile: Which one? There are approximately five billion in Tomeoda. >Everyone met Sakura and Lee Ann under the Sakura Tree. "Why did >you call us here?" said Jason. Dio: We have important business to discuss. >"Wait...Chiharu and Yamzaki aren't here." said Tomoyo. "Yeah >you're right..." said Syaoran. Trey: They're probably too busy making out. Paige: But we can't wait all day for them! >'There they are!" said Meiling. Leile: At least I have conformation that Meiling's still alive and in this story. Paige: Well, that was my one line for the night. I might have another one twenty pages later, but it's iffy. >Everyone ran behind a bush (What is it with bushes? ) Dio: Well, they're Republican. Trey: And 'Presidenting' runs in the family. >to watch what they were doing. Dio: Wow, mommy hasn't talked about that part of love yet. Leile: Must you? >"Yamzaki! Why'd you stop me!" screamed Chiharu. Paige: I need a tranquilizer! >"Because...because.." sputtered Yamzaki. Trey: Maybe if on push on the gas pedal, Yamazaki will stop sputtering and start up. >"Spit it out!" shouted Chiharu putting her hands to her hips. Leile: Don't shout, Chiharu. Paige: Yeah. Leile: I've been waiting so long for that! >"A..A..Aishiteru." said Yamzaki. "Really Yamzaki?" said >Chiharu. Dio: No, it was just another one of my lies. Gotcha! >"Hai." said Yamzaki. "Well, Aishiteru too." said Chiharu. Then >they both went into each others arms and started kissing. Trey: Then they had to pause for breath. >Then they started rolling around on the ground. Leile: Umm... Dio: All right! Trey: I gotta videotape this! >Sakura and Jake covered Lee Ann and Jason's eye's. "Hey!" >exclaimed Jason. "I'm 17 and your older brother so i say you >can't see this cuz it's too well teenagy." said Jake. Dio: Whatever you say, Jake. Leile: When I turn thirteen, you'll have to let me watch! Paige: This is 'teenagy'? Does abstinence mean nothing to these people? >"Guys! Get a room!" shouted Allan. Trey: Hee hee, guys, I made a funny. >Chiharu and Yamzaki stopped and went over to Sakura and co. >"Gomen guys." said Chiharu. Dio: How rude of us not to ask if you wanted to join in. Trey: I should put my clothes back on now. Paige: Hey, why am I apologizing? You perverts watched! Leile: Oh, for the love of... >"Well next time you two want to do that get a R-O-O-M." said >Allan. Paige: Okay, maybe it might have been slightly amusing the first time, Allan, but twice is way too much. Trey: Why don't you S-H-U-T U-P. >Just then a letter got dropped to the ground. Dio: Mail delivery people are so lazy nowadays. Leile: I think it's a 'P'. >Sakura opened it and read it aloud. Paige: You may have won ten million dollars with Publisher's Clearing House! >"Sakura DON'T come and rescue me. Just concentrate on the >competition. Lana trapped me in her club house in the back of >my house. Leile: Don't come get me, but I'll tell you where I am because I wouldn't be against the idea of a rescue. Trey: Anyone else think an evil demon should have a better evil headquarters than a clubhouse in someone's backyard? Dio: I don't know, it keeps you close to the action. >If you come rescue me she'll take all your powers. Trey: She has a rather low opinion of Sakura's power. Dio: Watch out, Sakura, you are much to weak to do anything useful! Paige: But, Lana can't beat us! We have Rika, who can...umm, what can she do with her magic, again? >Well i'll send you letter soon. Bye! -Jessica." Dio: How did that letter get there? Leile: Prisoners of Lana are allowed one letter instead of the phone call. Paige: The postal service now employs stealth delivery men and women. >"What do we do now?" said Lee Ann and Meiling. Dio: Well, rescuing her comes to mind. >"We do what Jessica said." said Sakura. "We have to win the >competition. Trey: Being evil, Lana will most assuredly keep her word and release Jessica if we win! Leile: Sakura doesn't have a lot of experience with evil. >Lee Ann awoke and got out of Sakura's otou-san's bed. Dio: At first I thought he was too old for me, but then... Leile: That was uncalled for. Trey: Umm, there was a scene change there, wasn't there? >They slept in different rooms because Lee Ann wanted both of >them to have some privacy. Paige: So Lee Ann chose the sleeping arrangements while staying at Sakura's house? >She dressed up in her favourite blue jeans and blue sparkly >spaghetti strap. Trey: She might want to think about wearing something more than a strap. >After she went out the door and knocked on Sakura's door. >"Sakura, wake up." Said Lee Ann. Leile: I see she's made herself right at home. Paige: Dammit, Sakura, I'm awake, now entertain me, for I am a guest! >She entered Sakura's room to wake her up. When she entered, she >saw Sakura and Syaoran sleeping together in each other's arms. Dio: Gee, wonder what they were doing last night. Leile: Don't think about it. Dio: I got the idea from Yamazaki and Chiharu yesterday. Leile: I said don't think about it! >" Ahem!" said Lee Ann. "S...Syaoran was that you?" asked >Sakura. "No." Trey: I don't normally sound that feminine, do I? >said Syaoran plainly. "It was me!" shouted Lee Ann. Paige: Oh. Hey, what the hell are you doing in here? >"Oh. Gomen Tolentino- san." Said Sakura. "You can call me Lee >Ann. Leile: And you can call me sick. >But get up because it's the competition today!" said Lee Ann. >"Oh yeah!" exclaimed Sakura. Dio: Did she forget? Paige: The competition? Oh, that little thing? >"I'll see you outside." Said Syaoran as he grabbed his uniform >and went out the door. Trey: He didn't bother to put it on, however. Leile: I hope he was wearing something else, otherwise he's going out there stark naked. Dio: I feel so free, so free! >Sakura got into her uniform and went outside with Lee Ann., >"Let's go get the others." Said Syaoran as he entered his car. Paige: Okay, I'm sure Lee Ann will break into their homes to wake them up. >~At the Competition~ > >"Meiling, wanna get something to drink?" asked Lee Ann. Leile: We're too young for alcohol, I think. >"Sure." Said Meiling. "We'll see you guys later!" they said as >they got out of the car. Dio: We won't hear from them again for a while, I bet. >"We better go get prepared. Bye!" said Sakura as she, Tomoyo, >Chiharu, Naoko, and Rika got out of the car and ran inside the >office centre. Trey: If we see you again, Meiling, I'll be surprised. >"Hey um..." said Chiharu as she went to the counter. " Oui?" >said the lady at the counter. Leile: She's French! Dio: What do you want? Out with it! >"She speaks French." Said a voice. Trey: Which is not a very useful skill in Japan. >"Who are you?" asked Naoko. Everyone saw a boy who had black >hair and black eyes. "I'm Lawrence Tran. I'm 14 and I already >know all of you. Paige: Oh, come on! Leile: Well, saves them the trouble of introducing themselves. Dio: Lawrence Tran? Wait, those initials are... Dio and Trey: L.T.! Sackmaster linebacker for the Giants! Paige: Anyway...shouldn't they be concerned that so many little kids are running around knowing all about all of them? Leile: Well, what with the Internet and everything, it shouldn't be that surprising, I guess. Trey: Hold it, black eyes? He's one of the soulless. Paige: Or a bizarre species of insect. >I'm Lee Ann and Jessica's best friend." Said the boy named >Lawrence. Dio: Sometimes we do three-ways. >"Okay! Can you speak French?" asked Chiharu. Paige: Well, that would be very useful indeed. Trey: One of the first questions you should always ask a new acquaintance is "Can you speak French?" >"Oui! I learned it with Lee Ann and Jessica in our school in >Canada." Said Lawrence in a French accent. Dio: And we know he's telling the truth, because he said it with a French accent. Paige: Wait, so Lee Ann and Jessica are Canadian, too? Leile: And that would make Lana Canadian as well. Trey: Are her flunkies Canadian as well? Paige: This is 'When Cultures Collide: Canada vs. Japan'. >Lawrence spoke to the lady in the counter in French. "It's >settled your field is #1! It's just across there and then you >turn left," said Lawrence. Leile: The lady also said it was silly to have someone who only spoke French run an information booth in Japan, but her boss thought it would be funny. Dio: What happens to groups who don't happen to meet someone who is fluent in both French and Japanese through the art of plot contrivance? >" Arigatou for your help." Said Sakura. Paige: Or is it merci? >"We'll see you later!" said Tomoyo. "Au Revoir!" said Lawrence >as he turned around and left. Trey: I must leave and collect more data on you that can passed around to other Canadian students. >"Why can't all boys be like that?" said Rika as she and the >rest went to their field. "If they were, we wouldn't understand >any word they were saying." Said Naoko. Leile: Oh my... Dio: I'm not sure Naoko quite understood what Rika said. Trey: You mean why can't all boys be French-Canadian, right? Paige: They could understand him fine. What was Naoko's problem? He spoke Japanese as well. >"True" said Rika. Trey: I'll remind myself never to talk to you again. >When the girls reached the field, they started warming up. >"Hey," said Chiharu "The boys are coming." Dio: The boys are back in town, the boys are back in town! >"Hey girls!" said Yamzaki as he passed by. Leile: Bye, girls! >"Here for the final face off huh." Said Sakura. "Yeah." Said >Syaoran. "Well we'll be at the bench." Said Rika as she and >the rest of the girls went to the bench. Paige: We'll warm it up nice and good for you. >"Welcome Minna-san!" said a voice in an intercom "This is the >final face off against Seijou and Sea View. Trey: Someone's taking them both on? Leile: Meiling's back to doing P.A. duties! >Please wait for 30 minute's until the game starts." Dio: Why did we come so early? >"You can do it guys!" said Lee Ann, Meiling, and Lawrence from >the stands. Paige: You can do it! >"Hey Syaoran!" said Sakura as she ran to the side of the field. >"What is it?" said Syaoran as he went to Sakura. Trey: I just can't stop my lust for you. >"Do you know Lawrence?" asked Sakura. Dio: Lawrence Taylor? Not personally, but I've heard of him. >"Yeah. The guys and I bumped into him 10 minute's ago." >Answered Syaoran. Trey: Nearly killed him, too. Paige: Didn't it bother you that he knew all about us? Trey: No. Why? >"Okay good luck!" said Sakura as she started to go to back to >the bench. 'Good luck to you to!" said Syaoran as he went back >to the field. Leile: Good luck to everyone! > >"Ah Jet! Hurry up! I don't have all day!" shouted 12-year-old >Lee Ann. Dio: Hey, did I miss something? Where are we? Trey: This may be a flashback to two years ago...or Lee Ann lied about her age. >"Well it's your fault. You kicked me in the chin!" said 17 >year-old Jet Tolentino. Paige: If you hadn't kicked me in the chin, we would have out the door by now, missy. Leile: What'd she kick him with, the can-can? >He had black hair and brown eyes. Trey: It should be jet-black hair, right? "If you keep talking we'll both be late for school!" screamed Lee Ann. Dio: Everyone knows you travel faster in silence. >Jet drove to a short cut and reached his destination. "My >school is right besides yours so go there any time you need me >okay?" said Jet. Paige: Of course, I don't actually mean that, because you'll just bother me. >" Okay! Bye!" said Lee Ann as she rushed to get to her class. >"Ah Lee Ann. We've been expecting you. Come in." said her >teacher. Trey: Her teacher has been watching too many Bond films. Dio: I've always wanted to be a Bond villian. >"Everyone please welcome Lee Ann to our school." "Hi Lee Ann!" >Everyone said. "Now Lee Ann can you please take your seat in >front of Lawrence. Leile: Okay. Um, which one is he? >He's at the very far end on the right." Said the teacher. Lee >Ann took her seat. Then the girl beside her looked at her and >smiled Paige: Hee hee, some new girl to torture, bwa ha ha! >"My name is Jessica." Said the girl. "I'm 11." "So am I." Said >Lee Ann. Leile: I thought she was twelve. Dio: She gets younger every time her age gets mentioned. Trey: And Jessica's back. >"When do you turn 12?" asked Jessica. "November 9." Replied Lee >Ann. Paige: Hey, it's November 20. I think you're 12. >"I turn 12 on December 1." Answered Jessica. "Cool!" said Lee >Ann. Trey: Yes, very cool. Dio: You know, usually, I enjoy reading characters talk about their birthdays, but in this case... >"Oh no! I don't have an eraser!" groaned Jessica. Paige: So? Let's discuss birthdays some more. Leile: Oh, sorry, just making small talk. >"Here," said Lee Ann "You can have mine." "Oh thanks!" replied >Jessica. Trey: Hmm, that seemed vaguely familiar... Paige: Perhaps because Tomoyo and Sakura became friends when Sakura gave Tomoyo an eraser as well? >Lee Ann just smiled at her in a friendly way. After a few >minutes, it was nutrition break. Dio: Hey, no new-agey phrases allowed! It's called lunch! >When Lee Ann went out of class to meet up with Jessica she >bumped into someone and fell down on the ground. "Sorry!" >exclaimed Lee Ann. Leile: Ooh, my leg! I'm suing you! >"I wasn't looking where I was going!" "It's okay." Said a >voice. Paige: I'll say it for you, Leile. Meiling! Leile: Oh, thanks. >Lee Ann looked up and saw Lawrence. This was the first time he >ever spoke to her. Dio: Possibly because it was also the first time he had seen her. >'Wow! He's so cute!' thought Lee Ann. "I'll catch you around >later!" said Lawrence as he helped her up. Trey: Maybe then you won't run into me. Paige: Although it did make him notice her. >"Yeah. See you." Said Lee Ann as Lawrence ran to some boys. Trey: Oh, some boys. Not very important boys, then. >~At lunch at Lee Ann's table~ Dio: A very specific scene setting. >"Wow Lee Ann! It's just your first day of school and you made >friends with half the school already!" said Jessica. Leile: So far, I've seen her talk with three people, including the teacher. Am I to assume this school has about ten students besides Lee Ann? >"Your really popular like...like Lawrence!" Lee Ann blushed. Trey: Lee Ann would fit in well with Sakura and Syaoran. >"This always happen in every school I go to." Said Lee Ann. Paige: Ho hum, I'm popular wherever I go. Much like some snobby cheerleaders. >"You are so cool!" squealed Jessica as a few girls came to >their table to talk. Dio: A few unimportant girls. Leile: Probably going out with some boys. >~At Lawrence's table during Lunch~ Paige: And the scene shifts to a table thirty feet away! >"Lawrence, that new girl is really popular. Popular nice in a >matter if fact." Said a boy named Kevin. Dio: Not to be confused with the nanny named Fran. Trey: She's not popular mean, or popular arrogant, just popular nice. >Kevin had black hair and red eyes. Dio: His eyes are really bloodshot. Paige: Ugh, too many shots of whiskey last night. >"What's that got to do me?" asked Lawrence. "Don't you like >her?" said another boy named Calvin. Calvin had blonde spiky >hair and lavender eyes. Paige: Cloud Strife is guest starring as Calvin. >" I mean she's pretty, nice, slim, knows how to make friends >and smart." Trey: I'm perfect in every way! >" I do like her...but she'll never like me." Said Lawrence. Dio: Oh, cry me a river. Paige: You know, for a popular kid, he has rather low self esteem. >"Just watch and learn Tran!" said a really popular boy named >Jordan. Leile: Is Tran a new martial art or something? Dio: If you see Jordan... >Jordan had dark grey hair and grey eyes. Trey: Jordan is one of the few people who would look basically the same as a cast member in a black and white movie. >He went up to Lee Ann and talked to her for a while and then he >kissed her. Dio: Yeah, Jordan does work fast. >Lee Ann kicked him in the stomach and punched him in the face. Leile: Although, that's not always the best choice. Paige: Ouch. >"Idiot! Your not supposed to do that to a girl you don't even >know!" screamed Lee Ann. Dio: Oh, I'm not? Trey: Somehow I don't think Jordan will be convinced. Paige: Well, you aren't supposed to beat the snot out of me, either! >"Did I mention she's powerful?" said Calvin. Leile: Actually, you did not mention that. >" No! I will not let you go!" said Jordan grabbing Lee Ann and >pinning her down. Paige: Umm, okay, Jordan. Trey: Gee, brilliant strategy he has there. Dio: Yeah, the one where he attempts to assault her in a crowded cafeteria full of people. Leile: Jordan probably does not have a bright future. >"Lawrence!" shouted Lee Ann as she tried to break free. Paige: I just met you about an hour ago, but please save me from this psycho! >Lawrence stood up and kicked Jordan in the you-know-where spot. Dio: I know exactly where. >"B****!" said Lawrence. Leile: I wonder what those asterisks stand for? Trey: He must be singing BINGO, and he's at the part where you say "B" and clap the rest of the letters. >"Your not suppose to do that to girls!" Paige: It's prefectly acceptable to do it to boys, however. >Everyone cheered. Nobody ever stood up at Jordan. Leile: Even when he pulled something like that? What, did everyone just kind of stand around and watch? Trey: I expect, in typical bully fashion, that now that he has been defeated, Jordan will run away crying for his mommy. Paige: Don't think you won't hear from my Lawyers! >Lawrence went by Lee Ann's side. "Are you okay?" asked >Lawrence. "Yeah." Said Lee Ann. Dio: Other than the contusion on my arm here, of course. >Lawrence saw Lee Ann's arm. It was bleeding. "Did I mention >she's tough?" said Calvin. Paige: I've got an entire dossier documenting her personality traits right here if you want to see. Leile: Did I mention you're annoying? Dio: Let's get Hobbes to distract Calvin so he shuts up. >"Your arm. It's bleeding." Said Lawrence. "It nothing!" >exclaimed Lee Ann. Trey: That's supposed to be the typical guy response! Dio: Broken ankle? Trey: It's nothing. Dio: Hernia? Trey: It's nothing. Dio: Damn straight. >Jessica shooed everyone away and everyone started to talk and >do their own business again. Paige: The crowd always hates to learn the show's over. Trey: Gee, let's not punish Jordan or anything. >"I'll take you to the medical room." Said Lawrence helping Lee >Ann up. They walked to the medical room. Leile: Which, due to budget cuts, contained only a vending machine that dispensed bandages and aspirin at grossly overpriced rates. >When they entered it the nurse told Lawrence to wait outside. A >few minutes passed. Lee Ann got out of the medical room. Dio: That's it? >"Thanks for your help." Said Lee Ann as she and Lawrence walked >back to class. Lawrence blushed. Paige: Ah, shucks, weren't nothin', hee hee. >Lee Ann noticed and put her hand to his forehead "Are you >feeling sick?" asked Lee Ann. "N-No!" said Lawrence. Trey: I'm blushing! Leile: How much blood did she lose? Paige: Maybe she's even more clueless than Sakura was at that age? >"Oh." said Lee Ann as she put her hand away from his forehead. >"Lee Ann." Said Lawrence. "Yeah?" "I-I- I Dio: He's skipping. >loveyou." Leile and Paige: Aawwwwwwwwwww... Trey: Yuck. >"What?" Dio: I mean, we just met. Paige: Not that that seems to count for much in this fic. >"I love you!" Lee Ann stood there shocked. "I love you too!" >exclaimed Lee Ann. Leile: You could make a lot of syrup with all this sap. Trey: Wait, didn't they profess their love earlier in the story? Dio: No, not them. Trey: It's kind of hard to keep track. Paige: You need a notepad to keep up with all these characters. >Lawrence leaned his head down and kissed her. Leile: He's rather tall, isn't he? >Lee Ann put her arms around his neck. Lawrence put his arms >around her waist as he deepened the kiss. Then they stopped. Dio: And I'm spent! >Just then a girl with honey brown hair and emerald eyes >appeared. Trey: Hey, what's Sakura doing here? >"Augh!" screamed Lee Ann. Leile: Oog! Paige: Ug! >"Don't worry." Said the girl. "But you have to forget this day >and everyone else will too." Trey: What the hell? Dio: I don't understand... Leile: Umm, why must they forget? Paige: Why, Sakura, why? Trey: It was the day that time forgot. >Then the girl said some chanting and Lee Ann and Lawrence were >lying down on the ground. Trey: She killed them! Dio: She's a little weird, but an assassin is an assassin. >Then a man with blue hair and black eyes appeared. "Sakura you >must not remember this day either and you will forget what >happened theses past years when you discovered you had magic," >Said the man. Leile: Somehow, the man makes less sense than Sakura. Trey: Please tell me what is going on! Paige: Why are we getting the flashback of this day if everyone is going to forget it anyway, thanks to reasons that are rather ambiguous? >"Clow-" said the girl but she feel on the ground and >disappeared. Leile: And for my next trick, I shall make a girl disappear! >"Sakura your adventure will begin very soon." Said the man as >he turned around and disappeared as well. Dio: Huh? Trey: So he helps her begin her adventure by erasing her memory of the past few years when she had magic? Paige: Best not to try and explain this. Maybe it will be explained for us later. Leile: Well, I like your optimism, but... Dio: I think we accidently got put into a different fic all of a sudden. Paige: I think we need a break before delving any farther. Leile: Agreed. BASEMENT OF CAPTIVITY "I wish life was like this story," said Dio. "Why?" said Trey. "You'd have to pathetically pine after the first female you ran into on the streets!" "Exactly! We could skip all the boring dating, and head straight to the fun stuff!" "Hmm, that doesn't sound all that bad." "Males," muttered Leile. "Hello, everyone," said a voice. The four captives gasped at the arrival of this new voice. "Who are you?" demanded Paige. A young boy, about fourteen years-old, stood in the basement's living room with them. "And how the hell did you get in here?" "Don't ask questions. I can help you get out of here. Don't worry, I know all your names and your entire history," the boy said. "Err, that's nice," said Paige uncertainly. "Well, since he knows everything about us and we know absoultely nothing about him, that means he's trustworthy!" said Dio. "It does?" Leile said. "My name is Julien. I am French-Canadian," the boy said. "I can help you, and you can trust me because I know your medical and dental records, plus I know the identities of the first person each of you kissed." "Okay, now it's getting a little freaky," Paige said. "Well, who cares what he knows, the important thing is that he gets us out of here!" said Leile excitedly. "So, how do we escape, Julien?" "Well, we'll need to use my mastery of the French language to trick the guy guarding you, right?" Julien asked. "There's a guy guarding us?" said Trey. The other three shrugged. "Yeah, and he only speaks French," Julien said. "Even for Dr. Kivlington, that sounds ridiculous," Paige said. "Are you sure?" "Uhh, well..." Julien appeared at a loss for words. "Well, I know that Dio wet the bed until he was eight and had rubber sheets until he was ten! That should help, right?" Dio was suddenly not in favor of befriending Julien. "Yeah, it'll help me beat the stuffing out of you," he said menancingly, trying to loom over the kid. "And, uh, um, Leile once ate an entire chocolate cake her freshmen year of high school because she was upset over a bad test grade in...history, I think it was." Leile let out a little whine and hid her face in her hands. But Julien continued, even though he had to know he wasn't convincing anyone of his trustworthiness. "Err, and Paige, um, she used to like Johnathon Taylor Thomas so much she kissed his poster before going to bed each night." "How the hell did you know that?" Paige demanded, not pleased with Julien. Julien was in a tight spot. He knew that much, but he only knew of one way to get out. "And Trey once ate a bug." "That's it?" said Leile. "That's the worst thing you can come up with about him?" "What can I say?" said Julien, shrugging his shoulders. "He's very squeaky-clean." "I still want to punch you," said Dio. "And I want to submit you to torture for hours," said Paige. "It's a feeling I usually reserve for Dio, but I'll make a exception for your special case." Julien looked to the three angered faces that slowly moved toward him. "Zut alors!" he said, speaking French because he was scared. He scampered away toward the theater, turning a corner. Dio, Paige and Leile followed, but when they turned the corner could not find any sign of him. "Did he leave?" Leile asked. "Probably," said Dio. "I wonder how he got in and out?" said Paige. "Oh, well, if I had to guess, I'd say some cleverly hidden hole that would take us forever to find," Trey said, walking up. Dr. Kivlington's voice came over the intercom speakers in the hall leading to the theater. "The dorky one's right. Don't worry, though, I'm fixing that hole while you're reading the rest of this fic." "Ah, well, that's good to know," said Trey, casting a bitter glance at the other three. "Hey, Julien told everyone personal secrets about us!" said Dio. "Except you, bug-eater." "Still doesn't mean we couldn't have at least let him lead us out, does it?" "Uh, well, when you put it that way..." The FANFIC sign blared. "Back to the coal mine," Paige said. [Doors Sequence: 6-5-4-3-2-1] Trey: You guys really blew it. Leile: Bah, shut up. Paige: Hey, I found an ant in here. Want a bite? >"How much more time?" asked Sakura. "Twenty-five minutes left >until the competition." Said Tomoyo looking at her watch. Dio: And we're back in the present...I think. Leile: Sadly, you must forget this day. >Just then, Amelia went over to Sakura's side of the field, >talked to boys, and dragged them to Lana's side of the field. Trey: She crossed into enemy territory! Dio: And took hostages! Trey: This means war! >When Sakura saw Lana put her hands on Syaoran fire burned in >her eyes. Paige: Uh, oh. Leile: Syaoran better not do anything he might regret later. >When the snobs put their hands on the rest of the boys fire >burned-on Sakura's side-in their eyes. Trey: Jealous? >Lana and the snobs eyed Sakura and co. evilly. Dio: Like our evil look? Frankly, I think it could use a little work, but I think it'll do for now. >Sakura got out her staff and called on the time card. Leile: